Im not dead, just not getting any.
Let's see - Nothings shaking.
Had some non-stellar sex with the widower last week, but some really great cuddling. Again, I'm thinking, can I live without the freaky mindnumbing sex for the guy who will give me everything else I want?
Had a date with the ascotw tonight, but since my redsox pulled another game out of their ass, he'll be there, instead of his rightful place spanking my fanny.
Since my sexlife is seriously lacking, I've decided to share with you his latest exploits. See, there's a few things you should know about him.
1. he has more friends than i have fuckbuddies. Many of them got married this summer. Since I've started hanging out with him he's been to 4 weddings. Two weddings ago, he was the flowergirl. no really. He had a purple sash with FLOWERGIRL printed on it. I text messaged him late in the night to find out if he was getting requisite wedding ass. His response - there's no ass for me here, I'm the flowergirl. I tongue-in-cheek said 'well then, I guess that predisposes you for the ringbearer' and got back 'the ringbearer is a dog. No, literally.'
2. He's a HARDCORE redsox fan. Has season tickets, is pretty much as rampant as they come.
3. He dosen't fuck. No really. No intercourse. He saves that for someone he's in love with. I manage to be satisfied without the manmeat insertion because I LOVE the way he makes my body feel. Tingly and desired and hot and bothered, and GOOD.
So, keep those things in mind, and then enjoy the latest update on his fucklife.
****
oh yes, didn't get to tell you...yes, wedding ass. i finished the summer leg of the ascotw "I am a FIREMAN" Tour 2004 going 3 for 4, just a home run shy of hitting for the cycle. But, as we know, I'm not a homerun hitter, more of a contact/gap hitter who usually streaches doubles into triples. she was a yankee's fan though, i almost wanted to fuck her just for that reason alone.
****
I should really get some ass soon, so I can fill you in on my exploits. I don't see it in the near future however, it being 'that time of the fucking month' for me. Of course FreakMan FuckFoul says he wants to play in the red tide. I think that's just a bit messy for me.
Maybe if the sox aren't going to make it to the series, I'll have an ass spanking update. Who knows.
I'm withering away here, folks. Send batteries.
Had some non-stellar sex with the widower last week, but some really great cuddling. Again, I'm thinking, can I live without the freaky mindnumbing sex for the guy who will give me everything else I want?
Had a date with the ascotw tonight, but since my redsox pulled another game out of their ass, he'll be there, instead of his rightful place spanking my fanny.
Since my sexlife is seriously lacking, I've decided to share with you his latest exploits. See, there's a few things you should know about him.
1. he has more friends than i have fuckbuddies. Many of them got married this summer. Since I've started hanging out with him he's been to 4 weddings. Two weddings ago, he was the flowergirl. no really. He had a purple sash with FLOWERGIRL printed on it. I text messaged him late in the night to find out if he was getting requisite wedding ass. His response - there's no ass for me here, I'm the flowergirl. I tongue-in-cheek said 'well then, I guess that predisposes you for the ringbearer' and got back 'the ringbearer is a dog. No, literally.'
2. He's a HARDCORE redsox fan. Has season tickets, is pretty much as rampant as they come.
3. He dosen't fuck. No really. No intercourse. He saves that for someone he's in love with. I manage to be satisfied without the manmeat insertion because I LOVE the way he makes my body feel. Tingly and desired and hot and bothered, and GOOD.
So, keep those things in mind, and then enjoy the latest update on his fucklife.
****
oh yes, didn't get to tell you...yes, wedding ass. i finished the summer leg of the ascotw "I am a FIREMAN" Tour 2004 going 3 for 4, just a home run shy of hitting for the cycle. But, as we know, I'm not a homerun hitter, more of a contact/gap hitter who usually streaches doubles into triples. she was a yankee's fan though, i almost wanted to fuck her just for that reason alone.
****
I should really get some ass soon, so I can fill you in on my exploits. I don't see it in the near future however, it being 'that time of the fucking month' for me. Of course FreakMan FuckFoul says he wants to play in the red tide. I think that's just a bit messy for me.
Maybe if the sox aren't going to make it to the series, I'll have an ass spanking update. Who knows.
I'm withering away here, folks. Send batteries.
posted by erica looking at 5:11 PM
2 Comments:
I have completely enjoyed your blog since discovering it several weeks ago. And I am right next door in VT! (No, I was not able to attend the Phish fest!).
Keep up the good work and drop me a note sometime!
clfrndrmng@aol.com
Best post title I have seen in a while!
You have a great site here!
Clearly, you have a talent for writing and humor. Now, can you shave some of that off and send it my way?
Great stuff!
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