Monday, December 27, 2004

long time no write

Hello everyone.

sorry its been so long. cant type much but have to- have something scary to tell you all.


at 1:12 am on december 24th my apartment burnt down. i had come home from playing pool and was cooking myself some eggs. I noticed there was some smoke and went to open some windows . i walked back to the stove, stirred the eggs once, then thought wait - this is way too much smoke. Just then the smoke alarm went off and all i could think was to go pull the smoke detector battery so i didnt't wake my cousin. When i got to the top of the stairs to pull the battery, out of the corner of my eye, i saw the fire!!!

i ran down the stairs and saw that the rack of coats was on fire. Not thinking very clearly i decided to grab the coat rack and try to carry it outside. I burst out the door, just as my cousins husband came out the front door yelling WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? He thought that i had built a campfire in the front yard in his sleepy state.

all of this couldn't have taken more than 10 seconds and in that time the entire entryway of the house was engulfed totally in flames.

All of the people made it out. My cousin's cats and dog are alright. But most heartbreakingly, I was unable to save the lives of the animals i was petsitting - Lucy the parrot and Magners the guniea pig.

The fire departments from 4 towns responded to the 3 alarm blaze. I went to the hospital for burns on my face and second degree burns on my hands. I am bandaged up and on percoset. If a fire alarm sounding noise surprises me, I cry.

The main house is almost fine.

The damages to the apartment are devistating. The structure is ok, but all of it will need to be gutted. I believe all of my things are destroyed. If its not burnt or melted, its soaked in chresote, soot, and smells like death.

We think that the fire started when a photo collaqge in a plastic flame that was leaning up on a chair rail behind the propane heater fell over, possibly when i threw my coat on the coatrack.

But I am alive. The firechief told my cousin that had 10 seconds more gone by I would not have survived. Fromn how fast i saw that hallway go up, i am sure of that.

For this i thank god.

Happy holidays. Hug your family.

Friday, December 10, 2004

long time coming...

So long since I’ve updated.

Well, here’s the long and the short of it.

As much of a proponent of girls-can-do-it-too casual sex I claim to be…

All it’s getting me lately is empty, worried, and confused.

I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m not having anymore casual sex. Well, that was the initial leaf. Then I decided that certain parties, with whom I have already begun carnal relations, should be grandfathered.

Most specifically, the Ass Spanking Champion of the World. And potentially no-fan. I’ve been missing him MUCHO lately. Don’t worry – I know it’s not right, and I’m not running back in with open arms or anything – but right now my heart needs some coddling and some familiarity… and he can definitely provide both of those things.

And somehow, one more new player has joined the fray. I seriously can’t decide what to do about him.

I met the Dumptruck driver on match.com. He’s a sweet good ole country boy. He races stock cars and snowmobiles and has a backyard full of junk cars that rivals my fathers. Well, given a time handicapping, seeing as how the dumptruck driver is only 28 and has had many fewer years to accumulate shit… It scares me to think about involving myself with someone so much like my dad.

All he ever does is call me beautiful and pretty and is super nice and kind. He’s super duper fixit smart – but not that educated. I enjoy spending time with him, but to quote NoFan – ‘I just don’t feel the fire.’

I want bells and whistles and swooning and smiling and daydreaming and doodling.

He questioned me the other night. “Erica, I just don’t see what you see in a simple country boy like me.”

“well, dumptruckdriver, that’s exactly what I see in you.” And as my dad said – I’m just getting a little tired of ‘slick’.

Oh yeah, and the sex pretty much SUCKED.

Oh yeah oh yeah, and as we’re driving around plowing snow, he drops the real bomb. “You know, I’m not the perfect guy. I can’t have any more kids – I had a vasectomy. And I see the way you look at kids.”

How astute and observant of a male. But he’s right – that would pose a major problem for me. My father says I should stop looking at every guy I date as marriage potentials and just relax and have some fun… But don’t you think I’ve done enough of that?

Who knows.

I’m buying a truck tonight. I’m seriously nervous about signing another loan – $5000 over 3 years with 16.9% (!!!!!!!) interest. But since I have such shitty credit it’s about all I can do.
The truck is gorgeous – It’s a 2000 jeep Cherokee sport. It’s the prettiest metallic blue color. I’m getting a very good deal, and am excited to have a new car. But knowing my luck, it’s not actually going to work out.

Anyway, I apologize for withdrawing and licking my wounds – some severe shit has gone down which I don’t even feel comfortable spewing here… I’m alive… and will try to update more, but I can’t promise spankings and squirtings and sexual escapades.