end of a long weekend.

Nofan's new girlfriend has a schnozz like a hook. I had dinner with them tonight, before i picked up my little parrots. I'm so excited to have my birdies with me again. Right now they are cuddling and making little cooing noises.
She's not all that attractive. She's got a flat tummy but her face is pretty busted.

Friday night I took torch out for his birthday. Dressed to the nines, i found myself at a pantara tribue concert. Great. But he enjoyed himself, and that's what counts.

Saturday night Beard and his wife called me. We had planned on meeting up around 6 or so.

"Hey Beard! How are you and that quiet wife of yours doing?" I said, tearing myself up from laying in front of the huge tv doing nothing.

"We're good. So I was thinking, want to go to the gun range before dinner?" he asked.

"HELL YEAH" I replied, getting excited remembering plinking cans with my father.

An hour later I was alternating between a .38 smith and wesson pistol and a 12 guage shotgun, blowing holes in targets and thouroughly enjoying myself.

We had dinner, and then went to the sextoy store! So much fun! A fabulous time was had by all. Most of the sexual action was the wife and I. She's really fun! She's a wolf in sheeps clothing, I'll tell you. She was so quiet the first night we went out to dinner, imagine my surprise when she's a complete TIGER in bed! Attacking me, making me soak my bed... I didn't really SQUIRT, but I did my old flood the bed trick.

They also had glass dildos, which were very cool to watch up close. I fucked the wife with one while she blew her hubby like a champ. I tell you, I've found someone who possibly could beat me in a dicksucking duel. I'm surprised. :)

I really shouldn't have

but i bought a big honkin TV last night.

Here's how the insurance has panned out so far. I picked up a check for about 1/10th of my total claim - the things that were TECHNICALLY mine in the fire. Oh, in case you didn't hear the audio posts, here's how it shook out.

The in-law apartment in which I was staying was illegal. The people who owned my cousin's house before she did built the apartment without pulling permits. It was not up to code (like the fact there was only one exit). When the fire happened, I got a phone call IN THE HOSPITAL to tell me that the story was going to have to be that I was JUST STAYING THERE for the holidays.

She submitted all of my apartment contents (furniture, electronics, etc) as hers, and only submitted my clothes and makesup as mine.

I got the check for the things that the insurance company knew were mine. Cuz said there is a hold up with the rest of the contents because the claim was more than they had initially estimated. So now I'm waiting for the rest.

I shouldn't really have replaced my tv, but I was getting absolutely SICK AND TIRED of watching a 13 inch woodgrain tv. The joke was "I HAVE DILDOS BIGGER THAN THAT TV!"

Anyway, i got this tv
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0001YIA20/103-9126127-5020619 from BJ's with a stand for 949.00.
And, since i needed DVD player/speakers i got this http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?prodid=11027711&whse=&topnav=&cat=2190&ec=BC-1482&pos=0 for 250.

I'm pretty pleased with myself.

Now lets just hope the other 20k actually makes it to me without my cousin screwing me!!!!

Finally a decent mood. What a little capitalism can do for ya!!

Fire Frustrations

Yesterday - 3:00 pm

Tried to cash 1000 check my cousin gave me.
Told by the bank I would have to speak with Marcy and Stan.
Called Marcy. She said "Let me call the bank, I'll call you right back."
She calls back and says "The check didn't clear because I'm like 7 cents short in the account. I'll try and get down to the bank today, but I'm waiting for the washing machine delivery. I'll call you as soon as I know what's up."

No phone call.

I decide, well, if its 7 cents short, I really need to cash this check, I have a 5 dollar bill here, maybe I can deposit the cash. So I go back into the bank and say to the teller - "look, this is my cousin - I just spoke to her on the phone - she says she's only like 7 cents short on the account or something, If i deposit enough cash to make up the difference, can I cash this check?"
She says "oh that might work - I can't tell you how much short it is tho" and I say "that's ok, 5 dollars should cover it, right?" and she says 'Um, no. I think you should have Marcy call me"

Meaning its more than 7 cents short. Hoodfucking winked. Awesome.

Then this morning, I get the following voicemail:

Hi erica

its your cousin, I've been hashing this bank situation out. Sorry I
didn;t call you back last night. Here's the deal. Rip up that
thousand dollar check. There are total issues with the account right
now. Aaron didn't write something down right, or someone didn't write
something down right. Um, the check thats coming today is all yours.
It's a long story I'll explain it to you, I'll give you an email.
All of its going to be for you. And It's not all of your stuff,
because he just rushed what he thought was your stuff, which isnt
obviously all your stuff. What I'm going to do is sign that check,
i'm going toleave it here and have Stan sign it. You can come
tonight and pick it up. Stan will be here. So put it in your
account so you won't have to let it clear and clear so it just has to
clear once for your account. So, that's the plan as it stands. I'm
PRETTY much gone, but you can email me if you'd like. I'll be
checking email tonight.

I'm working on the details of the lezbo vday

...

but figured I'd share a quick lowdown of last night.

Here's the im convo discussing my latest 3some action.

ericalooking: well, my friend Jay is WELL KNOWN for always throwing pussy in my lap. he gave me this chick kelly and kat and liek 2 others i never hit but could have
ericalooking: so i spent sat night in CT with my roomie from college and her husband
ericalooking: Jay is living in NYC these days and recently we started speaking again afterone of those lapses on commnication
ASCOTW : which happens
ericalooking: right...
ericalooking: so, hes telling me all about this new chick hes dating.. how great she is; how shes a sex and drugs and rock and roll freak like he is
ASCOTW : heh
ericalooking: and he calls me on sat and says 'char and i are in framingham, you should come visit us' so i decide to, even tho its a tad bit out f my way
ericalooking: i show up, and they say to come right up to the room, but between the car and the top floor of the econolodge in framingham i forget the room number. So i call jay, and he comes out to meet me in the hallway. He immidiately picks me up, pushes me against the wall and kisses me forever, right in the hallway
ericalooking: he turns me and sends me into the room
ASCOTW : wow.
ASCOTW : awesome.
ericalooking: and the first thing i see is shars naked ass
ericalooking: bent over
ericalooking: straight in front of me
ericalooking: shes jabbering on the phone
ericalooking: so I try to take it in without staring
ericalooking: HOT HOT HOT body
ericalooking: so jay
ASCOTW : very nice.
ASCOTW : i need to enter more rooms to that
ericalooking: so jay sits me on the bed and starts rubbing my shoulders. She finishes her phone call, then stands up, turns around, smiles HUGE and BOUNDS over to me (ass naked). She hugs me and says ITS SO NICE TO MEET YOU, JAY TALKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME
ASCOTW : awesome.
ericalooking: then looks down my tank top and says 'you're right jay, they are MAGNIFICENT!'
ericalooking: she's prattling on, bouncing around the room, completely naked. shes one of those manic chicks, i can tell
ASCOTW : but hey, they can be fun
ericalooking: 'I just got a pack of burts bees and I'm all moisturized, i moisturized jay, we did the whole framingham expeirence, even tanning, theres a bar downstairs, i like pizza, pizza is on the way, did you see my tattoo? Oh, do you want some weed or some klonaopins?'"OH WAIT, am I SUPPOST TO BE MODEST?!"
ericalooking: we assure her, no, its fine
ericalooking: and jay keeps rubbing my back and she continues to cyclone about the room.
ASCOTW : because she's clearly out of her tits
ericalooking: i get the feeling shes always like that
ericalooking: OH
ericalooking: she had inverted nipples. very strange, but awesome small cs
ericalooking: great body
ericalooking: works out
ericalooking: not tiny thin
ericalooking: mmm hot
ASCOTW : i'm jealous.
ericalooking: def the HOTTEST chick ive been with
ericalooking: so, we're waiting for the pizza to get there
ericalooking: and jay is like showing her off - 'look erica, see how hot her belly is!" and shes prancing about the room in orange bikini undies, a white TIGHT ASS tank top and white knee socks
ericalooking: her friend calls from downstairs, so she says shes going downstairs to say hi and just thrws her coat on over the undies
ericalooking: very funny
ASCOTW : awesome.
ASCOTW : she is class.
ericalooking: shes def crazy crazy crazy
ericalooking: so she comes back up, and lays on the bed with me and decides that we need to have a show going on for the pizza guy when he gets there
ericalooking: so she pretty much starts mauling me. Kissing me, laying on top of me, entwining her legs in mine
ASCOTW : adn youa re like "hey, i'm christian, please stop!"
ASCOTW : heh
ericalooking: so the pizza gets there, and i dont think the guy even notices
ericalooking: she JUMPS up off me and says
ericalooking: OK, IM GOING TO HAVE 2 PEICES OF PIZZA AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO GET DOWN TO SOME SERIOUS THREESOME BUSINESS
ASCOTW : awesome.
ASCOTW : no words.
ericalooking: well, i was feeling a little shy and requested we head to the bar and lubricate my inhibitions a little
ericalooking: i mean
ericalooking: she was SMOKING hot
ericalooking: and near, i fear, boil the bunny crazy
ASCOTW : well
ASCOTW : yes
ericalooking: so they have their pizza and we head downstairs the the seedy motel bar
ericalooking: i drink copiously and we head back upstairs
ericalooking: there were many permiutations
ericalooking: he fucks her while she eats me
ericalooking: he fingers me while i fuck her
ericalooking: i CREAM all over his hand
ericalooking: hes totally surprised
ericalooking: im like "good thing I didn't firehose or you'd be fucking outta here!"
ASCOTW : heh
ASCOTW : it can be alarming
ericalooking: coolest part tho is allegedly i am the first girl to get her to come and shes been dyking out since 9th grade!

Impending doom

Oh man, what have I gotten myself into?

For lack of anything better to do, I agreed to hang out with PsychoSappho tonight, for valentines day.

All day I've been wondering so do they make valentines day cards that say 'happy valentines day. Don't get too excited, I don't like you all that much, you're just better than spending this aweful contrived holiday alone?'

So here's our im conversation

[17:10] ericalooking: hiya
[17:10] ericalooking: how was your day?
[17:10] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: :'(
[17:10] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: awful
[17:11] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: I'm in a seriously depressed mood... I dunno if you still want me to come!
[17:11] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: unless you're ready to just hold me and watch me get the crying out of my system :(
[17:11] ericalooking: yikes.
[17:11] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: yeah..
[17:12] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: doesn't sound like fun I know.

***
at which point i ask my friend for advice. "What should I say?" I ask.
haha. I think you say "perhaps it would be best if you had some time
alone"
and then flee.
"thank you for assuring me ahead of time that this evening would
suck. I'll call you"
you have hours of awkwardness ahead. press on!

***

[17:15] ericalooking: hrm. Well, i'm not sure how up for a crying fit I am...
[17:15] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: yeah
[17:15] ericalooking: but if thats what you really need...
[17:17] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: I dunno... I'd like to just realy forget everything. but I dunno if I can hold it together and I can't really handle burdening anyone any extra today
[17:17] ericalooking: well, i probably wont be much help, and frankly might loose it myself in the face of doom and gloom
[17:18] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: I need to not be alone. I also need to not ruin your day

***
SO WHICH IS IT
eso, I recommend a coin toss.
can you put in a 'no hysterics' pre-date clause?
***

[17:18] ericalooking: but if you'd like to be taken out for a nice dinner and not be alone
[17:18] ericalooking: (ie try your damndest to just forget for the night)
[17:18] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: yeah
[17:18] ericalooking: then you're more than welcome
[17:18] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: which is what I want to do
[17:19] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: and forget that I have eight days till I'm both in court and homeless, that I can't find a practicum or internship, that Eve completely slapped me in the face today...
[17:19] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: that I'm a total failure, etc. yes. I'd like to forget that
[17:20] psycho-sappho-pseudo-vday-date: I did buy a rose for you (couldn't help it- humor me)
[17:21] ericalooking: I'll try. :)

***
Everyone recommended feeding her much booze.
im just worried that the drinking will loosen the tears
and/or sulk in a corner, saying "if you leave, I'll kill myself. but
I don't think I can talk to you right now. but no, go ahead and go
home, if you have to"
AWESOME! Thanks for that fear, redline
I'm here to help.
...
hence you should have an ironclad freedom-to-bail-if-you-suck date
guarantee in writing.
it's all a matter of willpower.
it's a test of your Will To Not Be Annoyed.
unless they get more annoying.
then they're Still There
and in your house.
you can always have a relative fall deathly ill at a convenient hour
unless she gets even weepier and spends the day in bed with the
shades drawn writing bad poetry
holy hell. the trick is not to know people like that
well, yeah.
but we're past that point now
hence building up the power to say "you're a total mess and I can't
deal with you now. get out."
"you just need the will to do what the other guy won't"
why am i consumed by dread?
because this girl sounds like a bag of issues with no handle
...
hrm
shes bringing me a rose
i should get her a flower or something, right?
"I got you some moss"
lichen!
the FTD "I'd probably like to be somewhere else right now" Fungal
Assortment
well, wish me luck
indeed. if she starts bawling, I recommend saying you'll run out for
more kleenex, and going to a bar.

So, if you run into me at a bar tonight, you'll know what happened. Bitch better bring her toybag

And the point is???

Background.

Shortly after the fire I managed to hook up with The Fireman. He swore up and down he was looking for a relationship, yet seemed to like all the kinky fun things that I do. He had been married to a stripper, and they had swung and had an open relationship, but she cheated on him anyway.

For about a week, I thought this might be the direction in which I should move. He was charming and funny, and kinky and open. Phone conversations just flowed naturally and it was commonplace to look up after speaking with him on the phone to realize we’d been at it for an hour or two, which sped by just like minutes.

Fast forward to the day when we are actually meeting. I’m trepidatious, and anxious not to rush into sex, although it’s obviously something we both dig hardcore. I repeatedly mention that rushing into sex isn’t really what I want to do, but somehow we find ourselves back in my bed, naked and writhing. It was good, but not great. I felt strange and oddly uncomfortable, as I didn’t really want to rush into that, but there we were.

And that was it. The last I heard from him. No calls, no emails, no text messages. I decided to just let it go. Then today, we have this conversation on instant messenger.

[09:45] thefireman: hey you [Offline Message (Thu Feb 10 23:10:45 2005)]
[09:45] ericalooking: hi
[09:45] thefireman: hey
[09:45] thefireman: how ya doing?
[09:45] ericalooking: sick as a dog, how are you?
[09:46] thefireman: imgood
[09:46] thefireman: you home or working?
[09:46] ericalooking: working. Stayed home yesterday
[09:46] thefireman: ahh
[09:46] thefireman: hope you feel better
[09:46] ericalooking: thanks
[09:46] ericalooking: me too
[09:47] thefireman: just wanted to say hi and see hoe you are
[09:47] ericalooking: thanks.
[09:49] thefireman: i hope your not still mad at me , its just bad timing
[09:50] ericalooking: hrm.
[09:52] thefireman: dont be mad
[09:53] ericalooking: im not mad, more disappointed.
[09:53] ericalooking: just imagine how it looked to me.
[09:54] ericalooking: its ok tho, i've determined im just destined to be the bar slut and die alone, but having fucked most of the eastern seaboard.
[09:54] ericalooking: :)
[09:54] thefireman: ahh
[09:54] thefireman: well its not what i intended, i realy do like you but its just bad timing
[09:55] ericalooking: such bad timing you couldnt even call or msg for nearly a month?
[09:55] thefireman: and you give great head
[09:55] ericalooking: hahahah
[09:55] ericalooking: the best, from what i hear/
[09:56] thefireman: i had to stay away for fear that i couldntsay no
[09:56] ericalooking: that is one of the lamest things ive ever heard
[09:57] thefireman: :D
[09:57] ericalooking: dont bullshit a bullshitter.
[09:57] thefireman: lol
[09:57] thefireman: well i have to get going
[09:58] thefireman: sorry about every thing
[09:59] ericalooking: thanks.
[09:59] ericalooking: good luck.
[09:59] *** "thefireman" signed off at Fri Feb 11 09:59:24 2005.


Can someone please tell me what the point of that little exchange was? Also appreciated would be outside opinions of how I responded and treated him. I thought I was not rude, but also not letting him think he had a snowballs chance in hell of seeing me again… I’m kind of proud of myself. I think I told him his behavior was inappropriate, but nicely. I guess I save all my doormat walk the fuck all over me and I’ll still ask for more tendencies for the widower.

Sigh.

And we did it all without even kissing!

Ugh. I’m sick as a dog. I’ve been battling a cold since Sunday. I started sniffling during the superbowl and have been making it through on a steady diet of Theraflu and tissues since.

Of course, that dosen’t stop me from having fun (or sex!).

As I said in my audio post yesterday, I was headed out to see my friend GH last night. Man, someday I should post the story about his wedding and the 2 weeks of floating Turkish prison that ensued, but that’s for another time.

I drove to Boston to hang out with GH. We went to our favorite maitai joint and proceeded to have a few. I was being careful and limiting myself, what with having to drive home almost an hour. We had a great time chatting, but no sex, as we couldn’t go to his place, and I wasn’t in the mood for car shenanigans. Plus, my nose was still stuffy. GH had an answer for that, of course.

“Do you know how to do that swimming stroke? The crawl?” he asks, pantomiming a deep throat thrust, then turning the head up and to the side for a gasp of air.

Good to know he has my best interests in mind. Heh.

Then, on the way home, I decided, well, it’s just past midnight, I might as well stop at my local watering hole. Let’s hope I don’t get roofied again.

I walked in, ordered my drink and shot a couple racks of pool (by myself). This loser guy walked up to me and kept making comments like “Hey, who’s winning?” and “Are you solids or stripes?” I threw some snotty comments back at him – figuring trial by fire. He left. He failed the trial, obviously.

After last call I went upstairs to where there was dancing and karaoke. I stood by the door, and in true anthropologist participant observer style, sipped my vanilla stoli and diet coke while I watched the natives. So amusing.

I watched one group in particular. There was a fairly hot woman dressed in dressy pinstriped pants and a maroon shirt. She was surrounded by two guys who seemed to be having a pretty good time. I watched her take a play spanking, and immediately my interest was peaked. Then I noticed, along with those three twentysomethings, there was an older guy orbiting. He looked to be in his early forties, with dark hair (thinning on top) and awesome eyes.

The bouncers were clearing everyone out, and the group started towards me (I was between them and the door). The older guy approached me, and started chatting me up. He cracked a joke on the approach, then continued to hold my interest, rapidfiring me with a compliment, and an invitation to walk me to my car.

“You look just like Leeann Rimes,” he told me. “Care to go back to my buddies house? I think he has a box of wine or something!”

High class! I think. But I’m drunk and amused. And the younger guys are SHITFACED and doing amusing things like wrestling and ‘helicoptering’ into eachother.

“Nothing like boxed wine,” I say. “Thanks for the compliment, but people normally tell me I looks like Mila Jovovich,” I say, as we walk towards his truck, his friends in tow.

“SHOTGUN” I yell, as we approach the truck. My new friend high fives me and tells me he likes my style. Somehow I still end up in the back seat.

We proceed to his friend’s house (which is only about 3 blocks from my house). True to his word, there is a box of Franzia blush wine type beverage. It was awful. I choked down a sip, then conveniently lost my cup so I didn’t have to drink anymore.

The guy whose house we were at was EXTREMELY enthralled with my boobies. He asked me if he could give me a Bronski. Fortunately I knew what that was (guy puts his face in your cleavage, shakes his head back and forth and says BrOOoonnnnskiiiii). I obliged. He was quite amused and kept trying for another one every chance he got.

There is much fratboy type goings on, and finally the older guy stubs out his cigar, looks at me and says, “did you say you live near here? Let’s get out of here!”

“I thought you’d never ask,” I say, and take him home with me.

We sat on the couch for a few minutes back at my apartment, discussing our lives. Turns out he has a 24 year old son who is in Iraq, and owns a car dealership.

“Are you married?” I ask.

He touches his ring finger, looks at me strange, and says ‘No, Why do you ask?”

”Well,” I say, thinking about TallTwat, “Recently I’ve been told that I need to ask such questions.” Felling like a total dumbass, I try to change the subject, and begin sucking his cock.

I’ve told him I’m sick, so we’re avoiding kissing. He is really enjoying playing with my tits, and it feels WONDERFUL. The only other person who plays with my tits, sucks them, nibbles them and all is NoFan. I’m really enjoying myself, as he plays with my boobs and begins working his fingers into my dripping pussy.

“I came to talk to you because I thought you were beautiful and I couldn’t get over your eyes,” he said, after nibbling my nipple for a moment. “Little did I know you had amazing tits!”

We had good sex. Nothing earth shattering, but I came with him, which was really neat.

”Holy shit,” he said. “We just came at the same time, didn’t we?” he asked. “That usually only happens to people who have been together for a long time and are really in tune!” he said. "And we did it all without even kissing!"

I just shook my head and trembled. I didn’t want to tell him that as long as you get me almost there, I can make it happen anytime. When I felt him convulsing and starting to come, I just pushed myself over the edge.

Now all we need to do is see if he calls. This could be a fun one.

my work here is done.

I was recently found with the following search phrase

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click here if you're lazy

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Awesome.