I'm doing slightly better....

than my last post. And it gets better every time I read a hysterical fact like one of the last people who came to my website got here by searching yahoo for "cock stretching mouth!!"

No really.

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=%20streaches%20mouth%20cock&fr=FP-tab-web-t&toggle=1

i said be careful, his bowtie is really a camera...

Tonight is pretty lonely, my friends.

Not sure what’s going on with me – i keep crying at inappropriate times, and am feeling SUPER lonely. And I don’t want sex. Must be period time.

But seriously. i won’t say i’ve never been worse – i’ve tried to off myself before, and trust me, i’m a long way from that. But it’s pretty fucking bad.

I’ll be back once I make it around the bend. But as a parting shot – I’ll fill you in on my Thursday night.

I decided I HAD to go out, so I proceeded to the other local watering hole (the one with pool tables!) and promised myself 2 drinks and leave by 10. The gods must have been smiling on me (sort of) because I was playing some of the best pool of my life. Well; in true Erica fashion, I’d run the table the whole game, then loose the game on the 8ball… but people kept challenging me and I was having a good time. I thought I spotted the winner (the random boy I’d taken home a few weeks past who disappeared while I showered in the morning). I decided to play it cool and didn’t say anything.

Finally he walks up to me and starts talking to me like nothing’s doing. See, I’m not sure it’s him – but it sure looks like it… Finally, somewhat covertly, I ask him .. “So, did you make it home ok the her morning?” He acts like he doesn’t know what I’m talking about, but I get the distinct feeling he is pulling my leg. He asks me what I’m talking about and somehow I decide to tell him.
“you see, about a week ago I brought a stranger home from the bar, really fucking shitfaced. We spent the night together, a nd the next morning he disappeared before I got out of the shower without leaving a name or a number or anything, and you kind of look like him.”

At this point I could pretty much see the wheels turning in his head. I suppose he figured he had a pretty good shot at getting laid tonight.

He was right. If it was the same dude, at least he hung around while I showered this time. And I got his name.

And somehow, I’m still empty and aching and I don’t know why….

You take the Good, you take the Bad...

The good:

I had the best fucking time last night. Seriously - the best in a long ass time. I spent the evening with ASCOTW (the Ass Spanking Champion Of The World).

All day at work I was hot and bothered. I posted this for his amusement – he was amused indeed.

He took the bus to hickville from Boston, and we went out for Mexican. AWESOME margaritas, and Stellar nachos. Too bad the entrees SUCKED. The waitress was nice enough to send us home with tortilla chips, guacamole and salsa tho.

ASCOTW commented on how amusing the two of us strolling into circuit city in Concord must have looked. Him, with his meterosexual self, looking more apt to be on a Boston subway, and me, short black miniskirt, garterstockings, knee-high patent red stiletto boots. It must have been a sight to see.

I decided to take ASCOTW for some Kareoke at the scene of the crime. I was somewhat worried walking in that any of the guys from last week would be there. They weren’t. Well, except the Drunken Ex of my mothers. I walked over to say hi, and guess who was sitting at the table? DEAR OLD MOM!

Everything was cool and fun. I didn’t drink all that much since I Had to drive home. But once I got home…. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I can barely type right now thinking about how hot the whole evening was.

He treated me to LOTS of his trademark kissing and making out. He always makes my body TINGLE and shudder. I love when he kisses my neck, and when I rub my tits all over him.

And all of this making out and soft touching was mixed up with spankings, and telling me what to do, and kissing and caressing…

Long story short? I fucking GUSHED all over him. Like, serious. To this point there have been 3 men in my life who can make me gush, and ASCOTW just joined those elite ranks!

I wrote THIS about the evening.

Like the true doll he is, he replied… here.

I think I should have a ‘user testimonials’ section, in which I will most certainly put

And there was some decent spanking in there to boot, followed by the blowjob queen of the universe's patented all-star bj. she takes a facial with pride, joy, and a whole lotta lust.

The best time I’ve had in a while, FOR SURE.

The Bad
Of course, I come into work today to face THIS from the widower. Let’s just file this under ALL FUCKING DONE, shall we, ladies and gentlemen?

From: The Widower
Sent: Wednesday, November 10, 2004 12:01 PM
To: ericalooking
Subject: Re: how are ya?!

Kitten:

We are not getting together tonight. I actually need to talk to you. I spoke at great length with my shrink, 2 hour session, yesterday and I am not going to go out with anyone until after the new year.

I have been feeling hollow and feel that I am leading you on with regard to me being ready to enter into a relationship that will have lasting meaning. It is not fair for me to do this and I feel like I am taking advantage of you and not being true to myself.

I like you very much and care for you very much and I am hoping that we can reconnect after the new year.

I will give you a call this afternoon.

Widower

I replied

From: ericalooking
Sent: Wednesday, November 10, 2004 12:03 PM
To: asshole central
Subject: RE: how are ya?!

Don’t worry about it. This email says it all.

Good luck.



Maybe I’ll actually stick to it this time. Fucking hell.

Oh, and in addition! Here’s a chat log from FreakyFuckFoul. I’m just striking out all over today!

fuckfoul: Honestly, I think Im all done with random sex..I want consistent sex and a relationship..What are your thoughts on THAT??
ericalooking: i feel good about that, save that whole thing, we've been over many times
fuckfoul: huh???
ericalooking: oh wait
fuckfoul: wrong guy?
ericalooking: did i misunderstand you?
ericalooking: no
ericalooking: the kids thing....
ericalooking: remember?
fuckfoul: not with you, sorry, I meant in general!
fuckfoul: lol
ericalooking: ah
ericalooking: right
ericalooking: heh
ericalooking: nevermind then
ericalooking: *shirking away*
fuckfoul: lol
fuckfoul: do you want the phone still??
ericalooking: yes
ericalooking: of course
fuckfoul: ok good
fuckfoul: :)
ericalooking: im unclear
ericalooking: did you just tell me i dont get to have kinky sex with you anymore?
fuckfoul: basically...what a looser huh?
ericalooking: shit.
fuckfoul: what?
ericalooking: well, that kinda sucks.
fuckfoul: Im ready to settle down and want to clear my consionce?>
ericalooking: i understand
ericalooking: it just sucks
ericalooking: and its slightly um
ericalooking: saddening that you're not interested in that with me
fuckfoul: I am totally interested in that with you
fuckfoul: I have had more incredible kiny things with you then ANYONE
ericalooking: yeah, i tend to corner the market on kinky things
ericalooking: heh
ericalooking: and good sex
fuckfoul: I agree. A monoploy.
fuckfoul: monopoly
fuckfoul: thats better
ericalooking: hahah ploy
ericalooking: but, theres so much more than that
ericalooking: or so i hear
ericalooking: oh frigging awesome
fuckfoul: what?
ericalooking: just got dumped by email
fuckfoul: you did? by who?
ericalooking: im just going to curl up into a ball and die now
ericalooking: please
ericalooking: widower

insert pasting the message from dickhead

fuckfoul: Hollow...Thats a great word. I can relate!
fuckfoul: THat sucks for you though..You really like him>
ericalooking: im so fucking done with it
fuckfoul: with
ericalooking: him and his selfish bullshit
fuckfoul: gotcha
ericalooking: im so tired of this.
ericalooking: getting jerked around all the time.
ericalooking: benig alone.
*** "fuckfoul" signed off at Wed Nov 10 13:57:32 2004.

So, here I am.

Good thing I had some of the best sex in my life last night (*without actual intercourse!*) or I’d be completely suicidal right now.

Sniffle. Send good wishes. Better yet, send confident, handsome, strong, kinky men who want to knock me up and keep me at home as a wife, mother, and companion.

Please?

again, BWAHAHAHAHHAHAH

another absolutely HYSTERICAL internet search that led to my page

http://aolsearch.aol.com/aol/search?invocationType=topsearchbox.%2Faol%2Findex.jsp&query=girls+withj+baby+tits&x=36&y=10

Have lots of things to report on from my bound and dominated weekend in NYC. I want to write it out well tho. I will soon.

xoxoxo
e

debauchery ensues.

Ladies and Gentlemen –

Again, the craziness ensues.

So, Tuesday night I started the evening with a date. This young guy (21!) on match.com had been messaging me for a while and seemed nice enough. For some odd reason, I set up a date with him. See, I get TONS of responses from match.com but somehow most of them don’t interest me. Maybe I need to wander over to alt.com or plentyoffish.com…

Maybe it was the fact he’s a firefighter and we all know the whole sexual inferno fantasies that go with that…

It was not to be. He’s sweet, he really is. Cute and shy and he was SOOOO nervous! But that was really all it was. I felt like I was having dinner with a KID.

SO I left him, and called my mom. She was headed out for a drink or two that night, so I decided to join her. She spent the evening being hit on by an ex of hers who was so utterly WASTED he crashed thru a table, 2 chairs and innumerable bottles and ashtrays to land, flat on the floor ON HIS WAY OUT TO HIS CAR TO DRIVE HOME! Needless to say, mommy and her friend put the kibosh on him driving and chauffeured him to his doorstep.

Well, as soon as mommy left, I think just about EVERY GUY in the bar started hitting on me. The most memorable?
a. Mr.Retirement. He came over and started telling me how good I looked and asking if I’d like to go out to dinner sometime. He was older- silver hair and GREAT eyes. We had the age discussion, in which he told me he was 42. He said I was FAR too young for him, however. He thought I was 22 (or at least said so for bonus points!). Later in the conversation, just before he asked me if I liked to give oral sex and wanted to come home with him that night, he also let on he lied, and was actually 52. Goodness. He was very persistent, but I just wasn’t interested.
b. Figiwaterman. I don’t really remember much of this dude, but I have a memento… a business card. How does one compose a witty email to someone they don’t even remember meeting at the bar?
c. BadSinger. It was karaoke. A very cute guy was sitting next to me, and started chatting me up. Turns out he’s just moved back to NH also, after breaking up with his girlfriend of 4 years (SOUND FAMILIAR!?!?) Best thing was, he was also out at the bar with his mother! I thought this one had promise, but he ended up sucking face with some pig-faced skinnybitch. He’ll never know what he missed out on. Besides, even if he told me he sings in a band, his rendition of PearlJam’s LastKiss was quite possibly the WORST karaoke I’ve ever experienced.
d. BadPickUpLine approached me to say, ‘hey, I found your email address.’ I know I don’t know him. It was either a very bad pickup line or I have someone who looks like me wandering around the bars in Concord.
e. And then there’s TheWinner. At closing time I thought I had a chance to chat up BadSinger, but noticed him snogging with pigfacechick. I walked, dejectedly to my car, and while I was sitting there letting it warm up, some dude who I’d not spoken to as of yet that night hopped into the passenger seat and started talking to me. The details are rather fuzzy, but suffice it to say I took him home with me, and we at least fucked (I know, I found the condom on the floor the next morning).

I think I passed out on him. I woke up the next morning, contacts still in, eyeballs glued shut, half an hour late for work. He was in my bed, and decided to get me off. Although I had no time, I have been in desperate need of such things lately, so I let him. I jumped up to get in the shower, and he disappeared while I was underwater! He had no car, so I don’t know where he went or what he did. I assume probably walked to the store down the street and called someone to pick him up! But he didn’t even say goodbye! Maybe because I’m a greedy bitch and never returned the getting off favor! Hahahaha. How unlike me.

Here’s the terrible part. If he even told me his name, I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what it is.

Oh well.

Heh. I amuse me sooooo much.

birthday doldrums

I’m just not sure whats wrong with me, folks.

For about the 30th time in the last week one of my acquaintances has mentioned that I seem one of the following

Bitter
Upset
Tired
Exhausted
Sad
Not myself

I don’t like this very much. I don’t so much like for people to be able to call my moods (especially bad ones) like that. I hate making people worry or letting people see that things may not be quite as OK as I want them to believe they are.

I get really antsy around my birthday. I know its just a holiday, and doesn’t mean anything more than any other day, but for me it means another year has passed and I start thinking about where I am in relation to where I want to be. They never seem to be the same place.

And then, multiple times, people who had made plans with me somehow bailed on me. I understand other things come up, but it just seemed like an abnormally large amount of things kept ‘coming up’ and I always got the short end of the stick.

The widower cancelled on taking me out to birthday dinner. Via voicemail. And then, didn’t even phone for my birthday. Actually, not many people did.

I feel like eeyore. I wonder if I should start taking prozac (again?).


But, I really hate being the self-absorbed depressed blogger, so um, let’s get back to sex!

Oh wait, I haven’t really had any!